Practicing discernment and saying “No” is a solid way to build trust with yourself. What you spend your energy doing results in what your life looks and feels like. Allowing ourselves to say “No” when invites aren’t pulling at our heart strings communicates major self respect, to us and to others. Not everything is for us and it’s okay to be selective with our time.

I’m not sure that we hear this enough.

So often we can feel guilty and “bad” for not saying “yes” because we don’t want to “disappoint” or “let down” others. The irony is that we’re letting down ourselves every time we put someone’s wants ahead of ours. In hopes of getting you to where you want to go in this life, I’ve shared 3 reasons why it’s imperative for you to be selective and say “No” to people, places and things that aren’t calling you.

1. Saying NO Gives You the Space That You Need to Press the Reset Button, Gain Clarity and Renew

Having time to slow down, reconnect with yourself and pause is an absolute must if you’re looking to live a life that’s true to you. As noisy as it is when you’re in a crowded room where it’s hard to hear the conversation right in front of you, it’s just as difficult for us to hear ourselves when we’re “too busy” and non stop. Saying “No” is what provides us with the time and space to gain back our energy and process what’s coming at us on the daily.

2. Saying NO Allows You to Weed Out Experiences That Don’t Match Up With Who You Want to Become

When you say “No” to one thing, you’re actually saying “Yes” to something else. I’ve witnessed how some believe that in order to say “No” to an invite or obligation there needs to be a reason for the decline.

Let me tell you something, please take this in:

You do NOT need to have any plans on the books or any other prior obligation made for saying “NO” to be legit. You can say “No” just because. Period.

You don’t need an excuse or reason to say no. You can say no because you’re just not feeling it. Honoring what you want vs. what you think you “should” do is a very powerful way to communicate to your own self that you value your energy, being and time. It’s okay if something isn’t calling you. You don’t “have” to do everything that you’re asked to do. This might be so obvious, yet it’s been pretty interesting to witness so many people struggling to say “No” within my practice.

As you ditch thinking that you need a reason to say No, you simultaneously build more trust with yourself. Every time we make choices that align with our true essence we grow that inner trust muscle. (Yes, we all have one, you included.) Allow yourself the gift of listening to the kind of day you had or the mood you’re in to dictate what choices you make when you do, in fact, have the choice. That’s a very strong message of self respect to all, the Universe included.

3. You Grow Your Level of Self Worth

By using boundaries to respect your needs, desires and wants you cultivate more self worth. More self worth leads to more of all the good things in life. It really is one big spiderweb effect when it comes down to it.

I can say this until I’m blue in the face, but here I go again:

People respect people who respect themselves.

One of the most empowering things that you can do for yourself is to lead a life where you have established healthy and respectable boundaries. Having boundaries, as I’ve seen it, is one of the main paths toward seriously up leveling your level of self worth, which up levels your life.

Cheers friends. Honor your beautiful self. You deserve to do what calls you without guilt or shame. There’s a way to respect other’s and also respect yourself as you practice your boundaries and say YES to what feels right.

Above image by Wedding & Lifestyle Photographer Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA