When our self worth is low, our self beliefs are limited, compromised, negative and tend to be filled with doubt, shame and guilt. Low self worth leads to a slew of problems for us; We attract low grade relationships, opportunities and experiences because what’s drawn toward us is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

A reflection is defined as acting as a mirror. This simply means that others behavior toward us reveals your own self beliefs and feelings that we hold about ourselves. Outer events are a mirror of our inner psyche.

Whatever we believe to be true is true. This comes into play greatly with what we believe about ourselves.

If we believe we can; we can. If we don’t believe that we can do it, achieve it or be it; we are right.

If you hold the belief, “I am not worthy,” this belief will be reflected back to you from the outside world. The actions that you’ll receive from others will manifest in the form of disrespectful behavior, a lack of appreciation and not being taken seriously.

The problem is, when you already feel crummy about yourself, it’s a given that this external response from the world will knock you down further. Unfortunately, it can be all too tempting to use this response as evidence to further your self loathing and shame. It’s really hard to fight against such frustrating, hurtful and unpleasant reflections. However, as you gain more self worth, love and respect, you’ll have the ability to do so and with that will come positive change for you both inwardly and outwardly.

The reality is; that an outside response toward you is not personal. It’s often just a reflection of your own internal beliefs and thoughts about yourself. That’s it; nothing more to read into. External responses are highlighting the relationship that you have with yourself.

(I know I’m repeating myself here, however it’s intentional as it’s my attempt for you to witness the alignment of your internal feelings about yourself to how others respond to you. This is playing out and this has always been playing out in your life.)

The good news is that you have full control over the relationship you have with Self. As you begin to commit to a self love practice and start to increase your level of self worth, the result that you get from the outside WILL shift and change.

It’s energetically how it works.

Be mindful of going toward “A false fix.” Meaning, “putting a bandaid on the problem” or wounds that need healing as an attempt to mask your low self worth. Be mindful of masking your low concept of self by operating at the ego level. Our ego gets it’s kicks via outward attention and applause. Self worth gained via our ego looks like attaining nicer possessions, higher status, higher pay, more power and control. Our defensive and insecure behaviors will be present when the ego is in the drivers seat. Operating from the ego is not the way to go for true, core healing. Ultimately, the masks you put up will fall down and your fragile sense of self will be revealed in some way, shape or form.

As the saying goes, the truth prevails.

True confidence is quiet.

Thought work: Changing your core beliefs. Changing your core beliefs will change your life. This “work” requires you to take responsibility for how you’ve been thinking about your life and yourself and deciding to change it. Changing your beliefs will change the way the external world responds to you. Most importantly, it will change the way YOU respond to YOU.

Journal Prompt: Are your core beliefs working for you or against you?

Examine what your current core beliefs are. I encourage you to explore your relationship with the key areas of your life; love, money, relationships, work, health.

What do you believe to be true about these foundational areas of your life?

Where are there limits within your belief system?

After exploring what your core beliefs are, you will have more information to understand and explore how your belief system has and is impacting your level of self worth. You should be able to see how your beliefs and level of self worth align. Meaning, if you’re being really authentic with yourself, you will see how your belief systems and sense of self match like puzzle pieces.

Here are some tips to help you work on your level of self worth.

8 Tips to Increase Your Sense of Self

improve your self talk
accept imperfection & your human moments
watch your habit of comparison
surround yourself with people that have healthy & positive influence & energy
surround yourself in environments that allow you to tap into your strengths and passions
practice self forgiveness
practice turning around self judgmental thoughts with thought work
develop a gratitude practice

Thought work- Turn around self judgmental thoughts via awareness and your commitment to shift your self judgmental thoughts as they appear. Self judgement is unproductive, harmful, unnecessary and not doing anything for you. The key to shifting your self judgmental thinking is to replace your judgmental thoughts with kind, loving, self serving thoughts, which eventually will help you arrive at self acceptance.

Self compassion/ Self kindness- the ability to be kind to oneself.

Note: Guilt and shame act as barriers to our self compassion, which compromises are overall level of self worth. Self kindness helps us heal our low self worth by orchestrating deep repair work (repairing our relationship with Self.)

Self judgement is not based in reality.

This means that when we’re caught in self judgement we’re immediately pulled out of the present moment. The symptom of being unrooted from the present will be dwelling and feeling guilt for the past.

It’s important to note that the tug of the past is strong. It’s powerful and it can easily pull you into a spiral of guilt and shame. In order to avoid being "sucked down the rabbit hole” by guilt and shame it’s essential to remind yourself that:

You’re not the past. The past YOU is not the present YOU.

The reality is that you’re the YOU in this present moment, here and now. That’s different from the YOU that you’re reflecting on from the past. Grounding yourself in the NOW is where the healing and expansion of self lies. This is why practices such as meditation and yoga are such major vessels for core healing. Any practice, really, that allows you to find peace and solitude within the Self will help you be in the present.

Ultimately, overcoming self judgement is the key to tapping into your authentic self.

To say it clearly; being compassionate and kind to yourself in the present moment will help increase your level of self worth.

In Summary / Q & A

Q: How do I get into the present moment and begin increasing my level of self worth?

A: By caring for yourself. The raw act of self care is what brings you into the present moment. Presently “feeding” yourself loving feelings, kind thoughts and engaging in healthy, positive activities and routines leads to increased self worth. Committing to a self care practice and working on eliminating self judgement from your internal dialogue, overtime, will lead to a positive shift in your sense of self.

*Self Love Meditation Suggestion: Place place both of your hands over your heart and continue to inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Ask Yourself: How does it feel when I place my hand over my heart? Continue to focus on your breathe. On each inhale think: I AM WORTHY / On each exhale think: I AM ENOUGH / Continue breathing in and out while noticing the emotions that come up through out your practice.

Cheers to you my friends. If I have one wish for you, it’s for you to go through your days with an expanded and healthy sense of Self. Your level of self worth is dictating everything. Please be kind and loving to yourself. Doing so will help you attain what you are looking for in this life.