We hear a lot about limiting beliefs; it can easily go in one ear and out the other. However taking the time to reflect on the limiting beliefs that might be holding you back is worth while introspection.

The focus in this post will be on 3 specific limiting beliefs that can affect how we show up, what (ultimately) happens and how we feel in the world.

ready? let’s go.

I don’t know about you, but I can dwell, overthink, engage in my own pity party, be a victim of my circumstances, ruminate about past decisions and have rose colored lenses about the past, which all leads to feelings of enormous regret and feeling awful.

When I’m in these murky internal spaces, it serves me to unpack where my head’s by checking in with my belief system. I, like anyone, has to watch what I do with the pains, struggles, trails and tribulations that life sometimes serves that not only I experience on a personal level, but happen and impact us all on a global level as well.

How about you? Do you relate to getting stuck in the ways I described above? If so, this post is for you.

It can feel impossible to change the way we perceive and experience our reality. Especially when our reality is filled with circumstances or people that are challenging or a negative mindset that we just can’t shake.

This is where I’m going to introduce the concept of mental strength. Mental strength points towards our level of resiliency. Our level of mental strength dictates how healthfully we can get through and overcome hardship.

The truth is that our mental strength is like physical strength; It can become stronger by “working it out” with focused intention and practice. A consistent mindfulness practice around the quality of our beliefs and thoughts can create positive change around unhealthy thinking patterns.

Let’s get into the 3 specific limiting beliefs that can be keeping you stuck.

3 Beliefs That Can Keep You Stuck

1. unhealthy beliefs about ourselves

examples:

“I’m not good enough.”
“Nobody ever picks me.”
“I’ll never be successful.”
“I’m not smart enough, young enough, old enough, good looking enough, healthy enough..…”
“I don’t have enough experience.”
“I’m not capable.”

2. unhealthy beliefs about others

examples:

“You can’t trust anyone.”
“Everyone is out for themselves.”
“Other people always let you down.”
“People are so manipulative and fake.”

3. unhealthy beliefs about the world

examples:

“The world is nothing but a dangerous & dark place.”
“It’s impossible to be successful in this world today.”

Can you see, if those were your core beliefs, how there’s no way that you could show up light hearted, fulfilled and happy? Those beliefs hold too much heavy, black & white, conclusive, bleak and hopeless energy to allow one to feel and experience joy.

The truth is that:

there are times were you will come across people who are not to be trusted. There will be experiences that show the unfairness that the world is capable of. There will be people that disappoint and hurt you.

That’s life. I don’t say that lightly; I say that, with heart & empathy, to reflect the reality that is our world at times.

It’s a hard truth, but it is truth.

There’s contrast in life. There’s so much beauty and there can be so much pain. Two truths that are opposites of one another existing.

What you have choice about is the perspective that you choose to take as life events play out and unfold. Your beliefs about the world will define your perspectives, your thoughts, your mood, your actions and, ultimately, how your life pans out.

As we might have heard already; our beliefs create our thoughts, which affect our actions, that ultimately create what our reality looks and feels like.

Spending time to identify if any negative beliefs are holding you back and working toward seeing yourself, others and the world with a neutral lens will help you to have a more balanced and healthy perspective about your present reality.

As you do discover negative beliefs that you hold, countering those negative beliefs with experiences that you have had (or can think up) that show a different story (a more positive reality) could be extremely helpful to help you reset.

Getting clear on what your beliefs are around yourself, others and about the world can help you identify if there’s anything to clean up and clear out of your mental space that’s holding you back from feeling generally lighter and more fulfilled.

*Spending time journaling and reflecting upon your limiting beliefs can be valuable for you. A helpful exercise is countering unhealthy beliefs with healthy ones.

*For this exercise: Take a sheet of paper, split it in half, on one side of the paper write your negative belief and on the opposing side counter that negative belief with a more factual, neutral and healthy way of thinking.

General Ways of Thinking that Keep us Stuck

Why is this happening to me? This thought encourages dwelling, rumination & self pity.
Why can’t I (fill in the blank) …….? This thought feeds comparison, not feeling good enough, decreases confidence and motivation to change and take positive action.
What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the situation or circumstance? This thought focuses on the perceived problem and can lead to distorted thinking, while focusing your energy onto something unproductive.

Ways Toward Healthier Thinking Patterns & Beliefs (3 tips)

1. Practice Mindfulness

Tap into your your “wise mind” (your inner knowing, your logic based mind that see’s things and experiences with more clarity vs. your “emotion mind.” Your emotion mind responds and reacts based on feelings. Feelings aren’t necessarily truth; they’re just feelings. They are valid, but not always factual. Anytime we don’t allow ourselves to see a situation for what it truly is; is something to watch.

To untangle which is which and become more mindful ASK:

“Which mind is talking here, my wise mind or emotion mind?”

*wise mind & emotion mind are DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) Concepts. Look HERE if you’re curious to learn more about DBT.

2. Have Hope

It’s so important and healthy to hold out hope that life could get better. Without hope, what do we have? I have two points to clarify here:

what hope is not; fairy tale thinking, avoidance of reality.
what hope is; allowing the future to be neutral without our judgements, fears & distorted beliefs getting all over what has not been written.

3. Aim for a Physically & Mentally Well Lifestyle

A consistent focus and practice of good habits /body, mind, heart, soul / and ways of thinking in order to be/stay physically & mentally strong will help you greatly to achieve more balance and general wellness.

3 Closing Journal Prompts:

1. What bad mental habits are holding you back?

2. What unhealthy beliefs are keeping you from being mentally strong?

3. What is one small step to take toward positive change?

*Image taken in La Paz, Mexico by Photographer, Renata Amazonas.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA