Our choices dictate the quality of our lives. As cliche as it sounds; that such statement holds such truth. All the choices that we make on the daily create what our life looks and feels like over time.

If you feel hesitancy and insecurity around your decision making skills I want you to know that you can get better at it. You can learn how to make better decisions for yourself with practice and some self introspective work.

how do you make good decisions?

First off, having a healthy level of self trust is a needed foundational piece to making good decisions. Until you trust and believe that you know how to choose well for yourself, an overabundance of confusion and doubt will be more present than necessary as choices present. Even when you do have a healthy level of self trust; learning to breathe through a healthy amount of doubt vs. allowing doubt and overwhelm to detour you and shut you down, is apart of the process toward making good decisions.

Secondly, embodying a solid sense of who you are by knowing what principles you stand for and honoring your priorities helps you to discern what choices are for you and not for you.

One difficult part of decision making is learning to decipher between when something is an opportunity and when something presenting is a distraction. So many distractions can, at first, appear to be great opportunities, until you become clear about who you are and hold true to your morals, values and wants. Holding your morals close and dear to you in this life is needed to weed through all the false opportunities, people and circumstances that are going to appear at your doorstep.

Opportunities that aren’t necessarily for us are sometimes dressed up in beautiful, tempting packages and it’s our job to use our discernment to decide if such an opportunity is a fit for us or not.

you will have many opportunities that fall at your feet in this life.

be mindful and discerning when distractions are disguised as opportunities.

what is an opportunity for one; could be a distraction for another.

only you will know which is so for you.

be guided by what your priorities, values, morals and wants are.

proceed & decide by listening deeply to the truth of who you are.

How to find clarity amongst confusion?

It’s really challenging to try to gain valuable insight about your life when you’re in the mist of confusion & overwhelm.

Here’s the dirty little truth: being in chronic confusion is a habit. Confusion is often a product of overthinking and having a busy & chaotic mind, which is a way of operating that we can do something about. We can learn skills and practice ways of being via taking action that can help us to calm our nervous systems and quiet our minds. We can break a bad habit. We can change our ways and it’s doesn’t need to be a long grueling road to get to positive change.

Here are some behavior patterns to be mindful of in order to experience more clarity of mind:

Behavior Patterns that cause distorted thinking:

overthinking
rumination
assumptions
story telling

Behavior Patterns that promote clarity:

sticking to the facts
direct and clear in your communication
simplifying
taking time for yourself to be relaxed, clear minded and to have balanced energy

Here are some tips for more clarity and less confusion.

Cultivate a Practice of Mindfulness

Mindfulness entails maintaining present moment awareness of your thoughts while refraining from judgment or attachment to them. Mindfulness is a mindset of embodying an “it is what it is” approach to life. This way of thinking is possible by embracing acceptance. Acceptance of what was and is. A consistent practice of mindfulness will help you to have more capacity to be in the present moment. As you do this, you will be able to make clear decisions as situations and opportunities arise in the moment.

4 Questions to ask when you’re making a choice

What are the consequences of this choice?
Will this choice bring happiness and fulfillment to me and also to those affected by my choice?
Is any fear around this choice true?
What is my inner guidance telling me?
Get quiet and look to your inner wisdom for guidance. Does the choice feel uncomfortable or comfortable? Does a light feeling come over you or one of heaviness? Is it a red light (meaning: stop) that appears in your mind or a green light (meaning: go for it)?

*Material based on the book; The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

Ultimately, trusting that we know who we are and having trust in our decision making skills is what’s going to help us feel more confident about our choices. Sometimes we have to clear out old self beliefs and past situations that have brought in doubt and insecurity. This is possible with intention to do so and the want and ability to do “the work.”

The fact that you are here with me, reading this, tells me that you have everything that you need to do just that.

*Above image taken in La Paz by photographer Renata Amazonas.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA