If you’re feeling stuck and struggling to let go of what was; I want you to take this next statement in and evaluate if it resonates for you:

You can only fully let go of the past when you create a new life that you want to be actively involved in.

Are you annoyed, resistant, in agreement with or at peace when you hear this? How does that statement make you feel?

Waiting for something outside of you to change your state of being (a relationship, a job shift, any outside influence) will not help you to gain the skills and confidence that changing your own circumstances will. It’s a practice to have the inner knowing to make the intentional choices to change your life for the better. It’s a skill that can be cultivated over time with your continuous action of making your thoughts things. Meaning, bringing your thoughts to life; creating the experiences, and the feelings that you desire to feel. Simply put; you can learn how to do this.

Some of us had this modeled to us in life via our parents or caregivers, and some of us were taught to do what we were told and were influenced more from control of what others wanted for us.

Either way, the reality is that when we become “adults,” what we create from our life circumstances is up to us. This can be incredibly over whelming if we don’t feel confident (because we weren’t shown or are out of practice) to make decisions for ourselves.

Q: If your stuck in feeling overwhelmed and lack knowing what you want or what move to make next, what do you do?

A: You make small, tiny shifts one day at a time.

When we’re stuck; that usually suggests that we have a habit of brushing away our “possibility thoughts.” Meaning, even when we do have an idea of something that lights us up a bit, we slam it down so fast that it has no time to breathe and cultivate change for our lives.

To begin getting out of this habit that keeps us numbed out and in a groundhogs day reality, we have to be really intentional about checking ourself when we have our possibility thoughts. If you can learn to allow the possibility thoughts to be there without tearing them up and convincing yourself that it’s impossible, these thoughts will get more air time. As they get more time to breath and be in your internal space, it’s just a matter of time that you will start taking some sort of action toward these thoughts. Taking different action toward thoughts that are outside of your normal will lead you toward change.

Keep in mind that it’s usually the small things that happen repeatedly overtime that lead to really different circumstances. Gently guiding yourself to go to a different workout class. Encouraging yourself to socialize with people that you don’t know that well, but are drawn to get to know better. Facing things that feel uncomfortable, but you have curiosity around. These are the everyday circumstances that have the potential to create big change in your life.

Just sit and let yourself be conscious of the things that you actually do want for your life. Sometimes we’re so used to making what we really want feel so impossible that we have detached from allowing ourselves to feel excitement or believe in change. We just stay cemented in our comfort zone of Blah.

The thing is that blah doesn’t need to be our reality. It really doesn’t. However, it is true that we have to make some effort toward doing things a bit differently for our lives to pan out differently. It’s like wanting to get into shape without moving your body; sounds pretty impossible. You actually do have to get your heart rate up and body moving to condition it into shape physically. No pill, surgery or talking about it enough is going to change your physical reality until you do something different. This so is true with your life and the external circumstances that surround you.

Once you start doing something different, life will usually start dancing with you to help you orchestrate new energy and new possibilities for your life.

See it for yourself; do one tiny thing different today. I challenge you to do so. Let me know how it goes.

Cheers to my dear readers. Thanks a million for being here with me.

*Above image is by photographer, Paige Nelson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA