Each connection that we have with another is so unique, which is what makes it special. Listed below are some solid traits of a healthy partnership. Being aware of the aspects that make relationships rich and fulfilling can help you identify what you’re lacking or what you’re grateful for. Either way, knowledge around what’s healthy can help you identify topics and initiate conversations in your partnerships in order to create a higher level of connection. It also can help you identify what you can individually work on in order to improve the quality of your connection.

There is NO perfect. This is a quick post for you to become more mindful or refresh your awareness of what a healthy, loving relationship contains. Whether you’re in a long term partnership, a marriage or looking for love, I’m hoping that this can help you assess where you’re uniquely at in terms of creating the love that you want.

6 Traits of Healthy & Loving Relationships

It feels CONSIDERATE / You feel considered. You feel like your partner considers you when it comes to their choices. They consider how you will be impacted by the decisions that they make. Your partner considers your feelings about the decisions that will impact you. They want you to feel considered and important and they take action to make that clear.

In a nutshell: Your partner considers your feelings. They’re consistently mindful of how their decisions impact you.

It’s CONSISTENT / You’re going to be on a bit of a ride with whoever you’re in a long term partnership with because that’s just the nature of a long term relationship. You’re going to go through and see some “stuff’ together; pain, happiness, hardships, fun times, loses, gains, wins, etc. Through all of the twists and turns, a healthy relationship will be consistent and steady. That’s stabilizing. If a hurricane is blowing all around you, a partner that can hold you steady and keep you stabilized as the wind and rain is doing it’s best to blow you over is what we all need in our loving relationships.

At the end of the day, find someone who is consistent. We trust people whose words and actions match up consistently over time.

It’s TRUSTING / You trust the judgement of your partner and they trust yours. It’s mutual. You trust that their actions and behaviors consider the basis of what a commitment is based on; love, respect & kindness. Each individual in the relationship has the room and space to tend to things outside the partnership that fill one another up. Each individual has the room to be whole.

A healthy relationship feels calm and open, not restrictive and heavy. The energy that you feel within a connection says a thousand words. Listen to what your body and mind is saying and feeling. Do you need to over explain in order to feel heard? Do you believe that you have the space to do healthy things for yourself without fearing a negative response from your partner?

Ultimately I’m speaking to feeling like someone trusts you. It’s an unsaid energy. I hope this feeling or you in your loving partnership.

It’s EMOTIONALLY SAFE / You feel safe to disclose your emotions with your partner. You feel confident that you can bring up your emotions and be heard. Being “heard” doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner will agree, but they will respect your emotions. They won’t make you feel judged or criticized based on how you perceive things. If they do, you can bring it up, communicate about it and work it through.

(Again, nobody is going to be perfect, but within a healthy partnership, you will be able to work through a lot of the kinks.)

When we feel emotionally safe in relationships we don’t feel judged, dismissed or invalidated. On the contrary, we feel understood, loved and validated. We feel like our partner considers what’s in our best interest.

It feels LOVING / You feel love and kindness from your partner. They verbalize or show you that they love you. They use their specific Love Language to express their love for you and you can feel it. You don’t question it and if you do for whatever reason, it can be cleared up with communication.

This leads to the next point……

You COMMUNICATE Well / Being in a relationship where you feel like your partner gives you space to voice your concerns and spends time and energy attempting to understand your feelings and emotions is priceless. There’s so much involved in good communication.

Feeling like you can bring up concerns or topics with your partner without fearing a negative reaction is so important. Meaning, so much of the time, we end up not saying anything because of the reaction that we don’t want to get from others. This causes conflict and resentment to build. Being in a relationship where you feel like, for the most part, someone is able to give you the platform to self express without shut down, criticism, or judgement lays the foundation for how that partnership is going to evolve over time.

It feels BALANCED / Your partner allows you the time and space to nurture other aspects of your life without guilting you. Your partner allows you to spend time and energy in other areas that allow you to be a balanced person; health, friendships, career, interests, etc. You also give the same grace and understanding to your partner. You each have awareness of what it takes for you to be a healthy individual, which allows your partnership to be more rich and fulfilling.

Of course, this list can go on, but these are some staple points to have in mind while you’re either attracting love to you or are in a committed partnership or marriage. It’s always good to go over the basics and do some inventory on where you’re at.

Take this all in with a grain of salt. There’s no “perfect” relationship. We’re all works in progress, shifting and changing with time, which is also true of our relationships.

Thank you for being here and reading. Feel free to check out my reels HERE on my instagram for quick perspectives or visit me on my YOUTUBE channel HERE for longer videos on mental health topics.

*Image above is by Renata Amazonas, Photographer & creator of honeyandgarden.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA