I wanted to answer more specifically to some questions and concerns that I’m getting from friends, family and clients that are working to get their kids fears and anxiety (and theirs) in a more healthy and calm space during this time.

My intention is to provide some information that might be helpful for you and your kids, so you, my friends, can keep smiling and find some light during stressful periods….that will have an end.

Here are two main things to focus on and use as a form of mental grounding so your kids can stay cool, calm and collected when anxiety is high. (and you can too.)

1. KEEP YOUR COOL

Generally, the first thing that kids do when their feeling stressed or anxious is to look to their parents for signs of safety and security. We as growing and developing humans are wired to do so. It’s a tribal thing. Doing your best as a parent to remain calm around your kids during times of anxiety & stress can do wonders for their angst (and yours.) As parents, we’re our children’s main role models when it comes to teaching them how to react and cope with their emotions. Children are always looking to their parents to gauge the world, but especially so in times of high stress and anxiety.

I also want to note that when I talk about “being calm,” I’m not suggesting that we deny our own fears or neglect our emotions as adults and parents navigating rocky waters. It’s important to be honest with ourselves about our levels of anxiety and fear and practice our own healthy ways of coping with these emotions. (I mean, we’re only human, right?) In order to present as calm, we need to be as grounded as we can by doing the things that help us release our stress. The trick is to refrain from leading with fear and parenting from a place of fear. Doing so will cause more harm than good. Instead, lead with being rooted and grounded.

Q: So, how do I do that Kim?!

A: I got you babe, see below.

Below is the mental health practice, R.O.A.R, to utilize in order to get a grip on your anxiety by creating a structure for your anxiety to be processed, so you can feel more at peace. (and your kids too)

Here’s a breakdown of ROAR:

R/ Recognize

Take time to find awareness of your emotional state. Do so by asking yourself: How am I feeling right now? Are you HALT (Yes, another acronym for you, apparently I’m loving those today) Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? See if you can identify your emotional state by stopping, “halting,” and bringing attention to your body. (This is also an opportunity for you to help your kids identify their emotions.)

O/ Observe

Observe and orient yourself to where your emotion are lying within your physical body. Stress & anxiety are commonly found as tension in our shoulders and neck, chest or a knot in our stomach. (As the below meditation describes.) Can you identify where your emotions are lying within your body? (Can you help your kids discover where they’re feeling their emotions in their body?)

A/ Accept

Allow your emotions to sit there with you. (Reminder: You can dislike an emotion & also learn to sit with it. This might not be super comfortable, but it’s an important step in accepting our emotions.) The key is to allow yourself to be present with your emotion and allowing it to be there, even if it’s uncomfortable.

For example, acknowledge your anxiety by talking to it: “Oh, hey there anxiety, how’s it going?! I know your there. Sometimes just acknowledging something allows you to accept it and that takes the focus off. We often spend so much time trying to deny or repress emotion and that’s how it stays stuck.

To go further, what this recognition of emotion does is that it helps us to accept the reality of our current state. When we allow our emotions to have space we’re learning the skill of sitting with it all. As we “sit with it all” we’re giving our emotions the very space they need to be processed and accepted, which sets the stage for them to be released.

R/ Release

Releasing your anxiety entails giving up your resistance to your anxious feelings so they can pass through and dissolve. This will allow you to feel more calm.

Here’s a MEDITATION, specifically aimed at releasing anxiety about our current situation, on the free meditation app INSIGHT TIMER to help guide you through the ROAR practice.

Onto the second tip of how to keep your kids spirits light.

2. BE CONSISTENT

Creating routines and having structure that is consistent in a time of inconsistency is key to balancing out high stress emotions. (Not only for kids, but for us adults too) Structure & routine can help kids to feel safe and creates a sense of purpose. Consistency is what helps us as humans feel safe and secure. It’s how we form healthy relationships to people, places and things. We trust and have faith in things that are consistent. Having consistent times for meals, education, play, etc. is an important way to set up structure in order to relieve anxiety in a time of high fear.

Stay positive friends. We will get through this together.

Looking for more support for your anxiety? Here are two of my previous blog posts on how to calm anxious feelings.

https://www.kimegel.com/blog/2019/5/8/5-types-of-anxiety-and-how-to-deal-with-them https://www.kimegel.com/blog/2019/3/15/5-ways-to-kick-anxiety

*Above image is by Lifestyle & wedding Photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA