As Fall is quickly approaching, along comes the changing of the seasons. It’s so hard to image that change, as I sit here with an 80 degree summer day before me. I can’t imagine being cold and wearing my boots and skinny jeans. Although, it’s going to happen.

Some things are inevitable and just a matter of time, whether we invite and desire change for ourselves or not.

Change is a constant in life and change tends to be so utterly uncomfortable for many of us. I see this first hand with the kind of work I do. I also have and have had my own struggles with transition and change.

I’m guessing that a lot of us have dreams and desires that are difficult to envisioning happening from where we stand today. It’s a skill to be able to believe that something is coming and going to happen for us, even when there’s no glimpse of it within our present.

If you already possess this skill, good on you, if not, you can absolutely cultivate this way of thinking. As you do, the utter discomfort around HOW something is going to come into your life will begin to shift from discomfort and stress into curiosity and anticipated excitement.

For the record: This feels SO much better.

When we get stuck within the fear of the unknown, there tends to be a lot of angst around how things are going to work out.

If we’re as single as can be, we wonder, how that romantic partner is going to show up. If we’re looking to become an entrepreneur, we can become paralyzed in thinking about how our future business is going to get off the ground. We can stress, big time, about how things are going to work out in our lives. Especially when we can’t logically see (in the now) how things can possibly pan out.

When we can’t see how something is going to unfold; it’s hard for us to imagine it to be true.

This is why, we humans, love to plan and control. It gives us a (false) sense of comfort because for a limited time it allows us to feel in the drivers seat of life. (which is an illusion itself) Some of us navigate our whole lives with our hands “white knuckling it” on the steering wheel of life, forcing and controlling things to be because it makes us feel more comfortable to do so.

Just to be clear: there’s healthy management of your life, to the best of your ability given your situation and there’s controlling your life. These are two very different approaches.

I’m writing this with full transparency in saying that it’s such a struggle to not know. It’s so hard to sit in an uncomfortable space without knowing when or if it’s going to end or turn out in a positive light. We all struggle with this to some degree.

With that said, I also know that there are perspectives to digest that can help you surrender more, trust more and feel more comfortable amongst the unknown. After all, whether we want to admit it or not, we all really don’t know what lies ahead for us.

Here Are 3 Tips to Focus on When Not Knowing Is Driving You Nuts

Tap Into Your Intuition

Building your intuitive muscle will help you to better navigate the choices and decisions before you. Your intuition is your inner compass. Straight up.

Learning to focus more on how something feels rather than using your logic to figure it out is a way to drop more into your intuitive self.

I love this below quote because it points to that inner sense around change and movement that we all have, whether we pay attention to it or not.

“The moment that you feel like you can leave that place (a situation, relationship or place)… leave, because every moment you stay longer than you have to, you will become extraordinarily ordinary.”

— Wes Moore

Intuitively, we get a feeling when we’ve expanded beyond something. Paying attention to that knowing and taking an action toward changing your situation is the work. The problem with staying in something that we’ve grown out of is, …..drumroll….., that we don’t grow. Hence we stay “extraordinarily ordinary.” Getting more comfortable with change and the unknown gives us the courage to make bold moves. These moves, whether big or small, give us the momentum to expand, grow and ultimately change our lives.

Accept What Is

Just because something looks or is a certain way now, doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way. Often, in order for things to shift and change, we need to tap into accepting things as they are. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you have to like what’s happening, but it does require facing the reality of how things are…..for now. Acceptance has an organic way of allowing things to fall into place.

Face Your Fear

Generally speaking, if you practice facing fear regularly, meaning facing what’s a bit scary and uncomfortable on a daily basis, you’ll greatly grow in this life. Everyday we make choices and, often times, there will be decisions in your day where you have the opportunity to choose growth or stay in your comfort zone. It can be so hard to pick growth…..especially when we’re in a habit of being so comfy in our world. It’s like getting out of a warm, fabulous Cali kind bed on a cold winter’s day. It’s hard, yet it’s really beneficial to get up and face your day. Choosing the growth route is, often, not that enticing because we have to face our fear. Although, once you experience the energy that facing fear brings, you’ll see for yourself that it’s worth it. Challenging yourself really does awaken the spirit and that feels so good.

As complicated as this all can seem, it can be simple. Just as the seasons shift, it’s a shift in perspective that changes our emotions and invites less angst and discomfort when amongst the unknown of life. When fear, stress and discomfort fall away, we are left to enjoy and soak in what’s happening now.

*Above image taken by lifestyle & wedding photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA