So often, we get hung up on “how” things, experiences and circumstances are going to unfold in our lives. Getting caught in the “how” something is going to evolve is what can lead us to shut down and avoid going further with an idea. After all, it’s overwhelming to know that you want something and, at the same time, have no clue how to attain it.

When the way is not paved, it can be really intimidating. Generally speaking, us humans like to know what lies ahead. When we don’t, we can become very nervous, scared and anxious about “what’s next.” When we spend more time stressing about not knowing, paired with creating negative predictions about what we think will be, we are definitely going in an anxiety provoking direction. Anxiety and fear about our life blocks us from taking positive action toward creating our dreams.

This is suffering more than need be.

The truth is that you’re not supposed to know the exact step by step process of how your wants, desires and dreams are going to evolve and come into your life. It’s common to have no clue where to start when a dream is just a mere thought. When you can trust the fact that you're not supposed to know and believe that your work is to stay open and follow your natural instincts and curiosities, the pressure to figure it all out will subside.

The reality is that, dreams are not linear.

What does this mean?

This means that how a dream and life unfolds is a very magical process. It’s art. It’s not to be controlled or sequential. It’s not to be scripted. A dream usually evolves in a way better than you could imagine. When you can wrap your head around this, believe it and allow it to lead, you will feel less fear and discomfort around not knowing how things are going to pan out.

Some things do require a specific step by step process, although, dreams do not.

Committing to the perspective that the unknown of the “how” is a good and interesting part of life is key toward reducing your fear about the future. Realize that when you take away the components of excitement and adventure that come with the unknown, you take away a piece of life that keeps us curious, growing and interested.

So, how are we supposed to tolerate not knowing the how?

With acceptance and understanding that we’re not supposed to know how our dreams, desires and goals are going to unfold, we can experience more peace. Our work is to tolerate the nervous discomfort of the unknown, (until we become more comfortable with it) allow ourself to be led by our curiosity and do our best to believe that things will work out.

When you learn to switch your perspective and begin to believe that the unknown road ahead can be seen as exciting and filled with possibilities, instead of scary and dangerous, life has the potential to get really interesting.

So often in life things don’t unfold in the way you believe that they will or should. This is why life is an adventure. Instead of using this knowledge to freak you out, use it to empower you toward trusting in something bigger. Trust in life. Start believing that life has your back.

It truly does…..

*Image by Amy Lynn Bjornson, San Diego based Photographer.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA