I recently asked my instagram crew for a blog topic. I love creating content around questions and topics that you guys want to hear more about. Keep em’ coming.

Here’s the question that I’ll be speaking too:

How can you be a good friend during these times? (times of social distancing, quarantine, COVID-19)

Meaning “these times,” when there’s limited ways of spending in person, face to face, time with friends and family. A time where we’re pretty limited in where we can go and what we can do. I want to speak to what we do have control of in order to honor the connections that we hold dear and want to keep alive and thriving.

Side note: I also want to say this, when times get tough is where we have the opportunity to see the truth of people, places and things. It could be an interesting time for you to pay attention to things such as; what you’re missing, what you’re not missing and who you feel pulled to connect with.

I’ve heard from several people that the way they’re connecting at this time, although limited, has been rich as people are getting creative in sending the message that they care.

Wherever you may fall right now in terms of relating to your loved ones, I think it’s important to be flexible. When options are limited, it’s important to practice your built in flexibility muscle. You might be noticing that people who have difficultly being flexible, struggle more during times of uncertainty. When the pickings are slim it requires us to tap into giving things a try that we usually wouldn’t gravitate toward. (This also helps us discover new habits and ways of being that we might really come to enjoy.)

Below are three quick tips to consider if you’re pondering how to be a solid friend in the mist of what we’re all facing (together) at this time.

1. Just. Listen.

If all you do is listen, you’re doing far more than you’ll ever know. Unfortunately, I notice how “just listening” doesn’t feel like it’s doing enough for some. Especially for those of us who are driven by tangible results and want to see proof of how our actions cause an effect on another. I completely understand that AND, learning to honor your listening ear, while valuing how healing and significant a role it plays in all your relationships is key to feeling good about how you’re showing up.

If you think about the relationships that you most trust and appreciate, I’m guessing that the component of feeling heard because the other is genuinely listening is at play.

Main take away: As simple as it sounds, if you just listen, you’re doing so much. This will always be true.

Take Care of You

The quality of your relationships will correlate with the level of trust and love that you have within yourself. Everything my loves, everything, is going to be a result of the relationship that you have with yourself. Your reality is and will continue to be a reflection of how you care for and treat your beautiful self.

Side note #2: With that said, it never helps to do a little self inventory, especially now in a time where a lot of the busyness of life has been stripped away. This is a great time to invest attention and energy into your level of self awareness if you choose.

How you speak to yourself, what you eat, what you tolerate, how you move and treat your body are all components of how you take care of yourself. This, ultimately, reflects the care you hold for your life itself. This level of respect that you hone will be felt and reflected back to you within your connections.

Genuinely Connect

Have you ever noticed that it’s about quality not quantity when it comes to feeling fulfilled in your relationships? What do I mean by that? I’m pointing you to look at the quality of your connections vs. judging your connection on more surface level details. (how much you see, talk or spend time with another) We all know that you can work, go to school with or have a neighbor (or family member) that you might see all the time, but don’t feel genuinely connected too.

It can be to your advantage to take note about how you feel in relationship with another vs. focusing on the more surface details. I’m not taking away the fact that those ingredients (history, frequency of talking, etc.) play a role in a strong connection and create really good substance in a relationship, rather, I’m asking you to look deeper.

Each relationship is unique and it’s for you to honestly evaluate. What you give, in terms of your attention, energy, non judgement and love is what has the potential to make a connection very rich. Even if that’s just over the phone or screen.

Your friends are a reflection of you. You get to choose who you decide to call a friend.

With that said, at the end of the day, reach out to those whom you love. Ditch the excuse that there’s no time. Remember that a small gesture goes a long way. It’s often, the little things that bond us and make us fall for the other, quirks and all.

On that note, if you’re biting at the bit to let a dear friend know that your thinking of them during this time, check this out…..

A dear friend of mine, Beckie Peralta, the jewelry designer behind SINE STUDIO JEWELRY currently has a collection of necklaces on “Care Cards” for you to send to your loved ones. It’s a great way to give vibes of surprise & love from afar. Your personal message will be written on the card & will be shipped directly to your pal! DM her on INSTAGRAM to place your order.

*Above image by Wedding & Lifestyle photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA