8 Habits to Ditch If You Have Anxiety
If you struggle with anxiety and worry then you know how awful it can feel to be stuck in your head. A racing mind that’s filled with thoughts of fear and worst case scenario’s is a pretty solid way to ruin your day.
Below are 8 habits that tend to be traps for our anxiety. With awareness around negative habits, we then have the tools to start creating new thinking patterns, which can highly reduce and eventually eliminate our worrisome thoughts.
Let’s begin.
8 Habits To Ditch If You Have Anxiety
1. The Habit of Overthinking, Over Analyzing or Over planning
When we struggle with anxiety we tend to have the false sense that if we think hard enough, we’ll find a “solution” to the “problem.” This mentality keeps our minds going in circles, in the hopes that we will land on the solution, which will make our anxiety go away. Not true my friend. This can be mad making and there’s no end to this cycle unless we consciously stop it.
When it comes down to it, over thinking, over analyzing and over planning are all ways that we attempt to control the outcomes of our lives. Planning is great in terms of having things you need or want to enjoy an event. However, over planning can create a fixed and rigid schedule that doesn’t leave any room for life to happen. Practicing the perspective that there’s not a “right” outcome to any given situation can help our busy minds find a place to rest. Phew.
2. The Habit of Rigidity
Rigid thinking keeps us small and unexposed. When we’re rigid we tend to think “all or none” about people, places and things. Our answers, basically, come down to a hard yes or no. In the world of psychology, this in coined “black & white thinking,” which keeps us locked in our comfort zone. Although, the truth is that we grow the most outside our comfort zone.
Many aspects of life are grey. Grey meaning, the answer or solution lies somewhere in the middle. Sometimes things are grey before they become clear. Cutting things off quickly and without exploring keeps us from trying on all the other flavors that life has to offer. The practice of believing that there’s more than one way of doing life while allowing for grey can introduce more flexibility and flow to our world.
3. The Habit of Getting Lost in Assumptions, Mind reading and Fortune Telling
Many relationships have conflict and face hardships because of assumptions. If you really break it down, assumptions are made up stories that we come up with in an attempt to understand why things are the way they are.
Remember this friends: Assumptions are not facts; Assumptions are stories.
The huge issue with assumptions is that, very often, we believe our assumptions to be true and we react as if they are “the truth.” (It’s like assuming it’s cold and rainy, so you put on your winter gear, when in fact it’s 90 degrees and sunny. Like, what are you doing?!) That would be extremely uncomfortable to go about the day in this dress if it is, in fact, super hot out.
I relate assumptions to “mind reading” and “fortune telling” because when we believe our assumptions to be true, that’s exactly what we’re doing; predicting the future with no basis of truth. The problem is that, although creative, our assumptions are often not self serving and based on fear.
A great way to avoid getting caught up into a web of assumptions is to fact check and react to facts, not stories. If you don’t know what the facts are, instead of assuming, ask questions. Questions help us gather more information about any given situation so we can see it with more truth and clarity.
4. The Habit of Catastrophizing
What is catastrophizing, you ask?
Well, basically it’s believing that our own self defined worst outcome of a given situation is coming our way. It’s an, often, very exaggerated, negative outcome of a scenario. The problem is that our minds can’t decipher the difference between our mind made “catastrophe” and reality.
Two ways of thinking that lead to negative stories are thinking in “what if’s” or engaging in “worst case scenario” thinking. (Yes, these are both legit terms in the world of psychology. These ways of thinking also both classify as cognitive distortions, which are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn't really true. They are inaccurate and negatively based. Cognitive distortions are are exactly what they sound to be, which is “distorted.” When we see things through a distorted lens we can’t see the truth.
In order to ground our minds from getting caught up in false realities that upset and create fear, it’s essential to focus on facts. (Yup, here we are again with focusing on facts.) The one thing that can really help extinguish a distorted way of thinking are facts. We can “what if” all day long, although, a fact is a fact and it’s difficult to combat the truth once it’s presented as a fact. When in doubt get out of your fear based story and focus on facts.
5. The Habit of Using Emotional Reasoning to Make Conclusions
When we lead with our emotions without putting them in check, we can really rev up our anxiety. Believing that how we feel is the “truth” of a matter can lead us down a mental rabbit hole.
The distortion of emotional reasoning can be summed up by the statement, “If I feel that way, therefore it must be true.” Just because something seems a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s true. When situations are hitting at our heart stings, it’s important to give ourselves some time and space from the event so we don’t make decisions and conclusions when we’re “in” our emotions. Cool down and give a situation some space before moving forward.
6. The Habit of Regret
Dwelling on how you think something “should have” been will leave you nothing but miserable. I’m sure you’re aware of this if you’ve ever tortured yourself when something didn’t go the way it “should have” (from your perspective.)
Regret is a stinger. Feeling suffocated and trapped by regret is a quick way to feel disappointed about your life.
If you struggle with regret, please soak in this little ditty, from me to you.
We have to trust that our past self made the best decision possible, given the time of life, the specific situation and the emotions that were present for us in the moment. We have to trust that how we responded to or acted in a past situation was the best that we could have done given our emotional capacity paired with the situation at the time.
Life is meant for us to grow and learn and we’re definitely not going to roll through it without ups, downs, mistakes and sorrows. Please accept the path that has lead you to where you are, right now, reading this. (That doesn’t mean you have to necessarily like it so much, but finding acceptance will release you and help things push forward.) If you don’t find acceptance for where you are now and get caught in believing that things should and ought to be different, you will suffer greatly….. and there ain’t no time for that babe.
7. The Habit of Going too Fast & Being too Busy
Rushing and juggling too much on your plate are main triggers for the anxious. There’s a fine line between being “productive” busy and being “too busy.” Your personal quest is to figure out where that fine line of balance falls for you. Pay attention to where you start making mistakes you normally wouldn’t make or where you’re showing up in a way that’s “unlike” you. These can be signs that you’re going too quickly and can benefit from slowing your roll.
8. The Habit of Not Paying Attention to Your Sleep and Circadian Rhythm
I feel foolish to mention this, because it’s so basic, although you might be surprised how often the root issue with a client stems from their “basics,” such as sleep, being off. If you’ve ever flown across the world or to a different time zone you might have felt your circadian rhythm off, which left you feeling very “wonky.” I’m defining “the basics” as exercise, diet and sleep (as mentioned). These components and how we regulate them create the foundation for how we function and set up our overall lifestyle.
8 Quick Tips to Practice to Relieve Your Anxiety
1. Identify your negative thinking patterns. Jot them down and be mindful to observe them.
2. Watch your self talk. Look for cognitive distortions and giving energy to stories vs. facts.
3. Watch Your self proclaimed “should’s.” Always pay attention when you start sentences with “I should.”
4. Focus on your breath and move your body. (Standard: 30 minutes/day of doing an activity to move your physical body. This will also help with pushing your emotions through.)
5. Question your thoughts. For example, ask “Does this thought make me feel open (good) or closed (bad).”
6. Find a greater perspective. Focus on the journey vs. the destination.
7. Build practices that get you more in tune with yourself. (Yoga, morning routines, time in nature, surfing, reading, hiking, etc.)
8. Chase states of flow. Pay attention when doors start closing consistently or opening. Go toward people places and things that are going toward you. Don’t chase. Find where the “flow” is within your life. Ride that plane.
Here’s a short quiz for you to take to assess your current level of anxiety. Take quiz HERE.
I hope this blog helped you identify negative habits and find new ones to practice. Life is so much better when we get the anxious thoughts out. Carry on friends. Wishing you a zen mind.
*Above image is by photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.
