In with the new and out with the old as this year begins. Why Let Go? Well, letting go and shedding what doesn’t serve you will create space for new habits to kick in so you can grow and thrive.

Below are 12 tips on what you can let go of in order to show up with more light and love in the New Year.

For the record, letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care. Letting go is a practice to cultivate in order to avoid unnecessary suffering and harm.

Here we go….

Let go of Believing That The Grass is Greener

Waiting until that certain something happens in your life in order to be happy is such a falsehood. If you’re not happy now, that desired thing might bring you joy at first, but it’s only a matter of time that the truth will prevail and an unsupported foundation will start to show its cracks. You have to learn to like your life now. (I know, I know, hang in there for a second with me on this) Finding ways to be grateful now and finding acceptance for your current circumstances now will help you practice your happy muscle and build momentum that will push you toward what you desire. (That was wordy, but true) As you practice this, what you’re dreaming about has the space to come to you with more ease and on a bigger scale because it’s not battling your resistance.

Let go of Resentment

Let me say it simply, resentment is a hot mess. It negatively taints your energy and gives off bad vibes. You have every right to have all your feelings about any situation that’s causing resentment, however getting a grip on your resentment and working toward turning it into something productive is a win/win. Be mindful of when you're leading with resentment. It’s a bad look.

Let go of Fear

Fear is what stops so many people from doing that thing that could potentially create a lot of positive change and transformation. Get in tune with your fear. Get acquainted with your fear. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to tolerate it in order to get past it.

People that look “fearless” have established a positive relationship with their fear. So, it’s not that they’re “fearless,” it’s more that they’re able to feel their fear and proceed forward regardless of it being in the room with them.

Fear is in the back seat, not the drivers seat. They step toward what’s scary, not away from it.

Hone the skill of sitting with your fear while carrying on with challenging yourself so you can continue to grow and live big. Easier said than done, I know; Yet when you continue to practice this, facing fear will become more of your habit and less intimidating.

Let go of the Need to Please Others

Babes, babes, babes, please be careful of allowing other peoples opinion of you define you. Putting your value and sense of worth in any one else’s hands is not a good habit. You, my love, are the only one who has the authority to decide who you are and what is working (or not working) for you. Considering a respected source’s feedback can be really constructive, but taking another’s opinion of you as your truth is not advised. Learning to cultivate the skill of listening to yourself and valuing your opinion is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your life.

Let go of the Need to Control Other People and Circumstances

Let’s get real. Nobody wants to be controlled or told what to do. We didn’t like it as kids and we sure don’t like it as adults. Especially, more so, for my buddies out there who walk to the beat of their own drum. (Respect, because that’s hard to do.)

Be aware of when you’re in a pattern of believing that you know what’s best for another. There’s a way to be supportive without trying to fix, control a result or another. Looking at your relationship with control can greatly serve you.

Let go of Perfectionism

This is going to be short and sweet. Are you ready?

Perfect. Doesn’t. Exist.

Chasing perfection will always lead you to feel defeated because it’s unattainable. What’s perfect today may or may not be perfect tomorrow. This is so because things are always changing. Allow for things to change and shift without trying to keep it “perfect.” (Whatever that means.)

Let go of Your Mistakes (Regret)

You are meant to make mistakes. Mistake help you to learn & grow.

Please repeat: “I am meant to make mistakes. Mistake help me to learn & grow.”

Please value and learn from your mistakes. When you stay stuck in the past because of regret you’re creating more harm than good. If you’re carrying on with your life making no sort of mishap, then you’re being too careful.

Mistakes get a bad wrap. Change your relationships to how you define your “mistakes” in your life and you won’t be so scared to carry on in the present. This shift will allow you more space to go after what you want. Accept that you’re meant to slip up from time to time. After all, you’re human.

Let go of Self Doubt

Self doubt is a really bad habit. Everyone outside of you is treating you based on how you see yourself. If you think you can do it, other’s will believe you can do it. If you think you can’t do it, others will believe that you can’t do it.

It’s pretty straight up.

Your thoughts about your ability to get a hold of an issue in your life is a major factor in creating the end result. We’re creating our lives based on what we believe we’re capable of, for better or for worse. Believe in yourself because if you don’t other people will struggle to as well.

Let go of Being Black & White & All or None (Rigid)

Being rigid is a sure fire way to miss out on opportunities and joy. Some things might be a straight forward “Yes” or “No.” I honor that. However, as life will have it, many things are grey until they become clear. Be flexible and willing to see different perspectives in order to leave room for people, places and things to surprise you.

Let go of Non Intentional Reactions

In other words: Watch your impulse control. So many issues can be avoided by pausing a little longer than usual before you take action or speak your mind. There’s a time and a place to go for it and think quickly or have witty banter. However, learning when a situation calls for reflection and thought is an art that will benefit you.

Let go of Judgement and Self Criticism

Judgement is such a big road block to happiness. Judgement fogs our ability to see things for what and how they actually are. Reflect on your relationship with judgement. The truth is that the level at which you judge yourself is aligned with your level of judgment toward others. Nobody wants to be judged. It feels rejecting and it’s not a productive tool toward evoking positive change (or gaining friends.)

Let go of Your Timeline

A delay is not a denial. I’m not sure who coined that one, but the truth is that just because what you want is not happening now, doesn’t mean that it’s never going to happen. This is a tricky one because we want what we want and we want it now. When we can’t logically see or mentally figure out how something is going to pan out and appear, it’s hard to believe that it will eventually exist. Letting go of the timeline in which we think and believe that things should and ought to happen for us is really difficult for some of us, especially those of us that live a life in high control.

Practicing concepts such as trust, faith & healthy perspective will help you better cope with the uncertainty that life will bring. If we don’t utilize those virtues, we will be left feeling disappointed and frustrated about how we believe our life is playing out.

Trust life, it’s smarter than you.

Cheers to you shedding what there’s no need for. As you do, it’s only natural for good things to surface that will support your growth and bring more enjoyment into your world. Now, get after it!

*Above image was taken by wedding & lifestyle photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA