The way toward what we desire is to become what we’re looking for. If we can embody and exude what we want to attract, we’ll become a natural magnet for it.

NO BIGGIE, RIGHT?

Easier said than done, I get it.

There’s so many things that get in the way of keeping it that simple. We have resistance, excuses and all the reasons that validate why it’s so hard to find or get what we want. It ‘s hard to see the light with all the blocks in our way. Although, as excuses get combated with truth and as resistance gets cut with acceptance the noise will clear. Once this clean up is done, there are less excuses and distractions which make it easier to break bad habits that are holding us back from what we desire. This leaves room to focus on what truly lights us up. When we’re walking around all bright and shiny in our life, the things that we desire have a mysterious way of appearing.

Just. Like. That.

I’ll further explain…..

As the Law Of Attraction is constantly at play with the notion that like attracts like, we’re always attracting the people, events and situations who match our energy and overall vibe. This can be borderline annoying to hear because, after all, why would we want to call in people, places and things that we don’t want? Obviously, this is unconscious and it’s an energetic thing. We’ll always be attracting like minded energy to us as we’re attracting what we’re a match for. This is so regardless of if you believe in this notion of the Law of Attraction or not. It’s just the science of life.

SO, WHAT DOES THIS ALL HAVE TO DO WITH ATTRACTING LOVE?

Often, when it comes to love and relationships, we have specific qualities that we prioritize as we seek our love partners. Kind, yes. Witty, yup. Hot, definitely doesn’t hurt. Active, no couch potatoes please. Open hearted, a must. Trustworthy, heck yeah. I can go on and on about “the list” of qualities that we may or may not have gathered up once upon a time.

So, the million dollar question remains……

HOW DO WE ATTRACT THE LOVE IN OUR LIVES THAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR?

WAIT FOR IT………..DRUMROLL……..

BE WHAT YOU WANT TO ATTRACT

Through our choices, which dictate our actions and behaviors we’re either becoming more of who we want to be (Heading toward our most truth based self) or molding into a lesser version of who we want to be. (Pulling away from our ideal self.)

The one thing that we all have in common is that our lives are unfolding under the same moon, sun and stars. What we do with our time is dictating our lives.

What we do in the present effects who we meet, the perspectives we expose ourselves too and what we experience.

SO, HOW DOES THIS CONNECT TO OUR LOVE LIFE & ATTRACTING A PARTNER?

In order to attract and attain what we’re looking for it’s essential to be in the same playing field as what we desire. For example, If you’re looking for someone athletic, the first thing to assess is if you’re living an athletic lifestyle. Do you do the things that athletic people do? Do you consistently care about and put energy toward your physical health? Are you involved with athletic past times? Take a moment to pause and honestly think about these questions.

It’s easy to “just assume” that you’re healthy and athletic, although sometimes it’s important to take a moment to be honest and introspective with yourself about how you define yourself and if the reality of who you currently are matches the truth of who you currently are.

Look at the current you, not the five years ago you. Be mindful about leading with your past self, “I used to be a swimmer,” well, are you still a person who swims? Sometimes we’re still defining ourselves based on who we used to be, not on the truth of who we currently are. Stay present.

I know there’s been times of my life, when I’ve identified myself as a healthy person, although, if i look back on past behaviors, the truth is, I wasn’t treating my body so great at times. It reminds me of the green juice during the week and drinking a bit much on the weekends kinda vibe. Bottom line: Don’t fool yourself. Looking clearly at the truth and having the courage to swallow it will always push you back into balance.

IS YOUR LOVE SWITCH ON OR OFF?

It’s one thing to say that you your heart is open to love, although your behaviors, actions and your energy have to match your words. Stating that you’re open for intimate partnership has to be in alignment with the actual energetic vibe that you’re giving off.

Regardless of what you’re saying, your vibe is screaming either “available and open” or “closed down for biz.”

I like to say that your light switch is either OFF or ON in the love department. It’s either bright in the room or as dark as can be friends. Personally, I get a feeling when my lights are off or shutting down. This state of system shut down (heart space off) usually appears after a romantic disappointment. The best way that I know how to describe it is that it’s an inner knowing and feeling that my heart is tight, blocked and feels closed as it goes into self protective mode. This gives off distant and unavailable energy, for sure. When my heart space is closed off, that’s a signal that I have to do “all the things” to get my heart energy cleared out and back on track. (Although that’s another blog post.)

Bottom line: Your future partner has to have his/her love switch on and you do too in order to match up and attract one another.

WHERE’S YOUR HEAD AT?

How you think and the perspectives that you live your life by will be attracting you toward or away from your ideal mate. If you want someone that is glass half full and sunny side up energy, you have to align with that frame of mind. Pretending to be a positive person is very different than actually being a positive person. Your behavior has to be organic for a truth based connection to develop. No pretending here. Remember, the truth will always prevail. Starting a partnership on a foundation that is not authentic will eventually crash and burn in some way, shape or form. Someone whose positive is going to look for a partner whom can compliment their positivity. Take time to think about what kind of attitude and approach to life you desire and investigate how you’re currently operating in that realm.

It’s really all about living and showing up in the way that you personally find attractive. If you start doing, saying and being what you’re looking for, it’s truly just a matter of time that people, places and things will show up to match the energy that you’re putting out. This is a practice. So, just like any other skill you’re setting out to learn, be patient and gentle with yourself. Take the time to really cultivate and hone in the attitudes, actions and ways of life that you’re shooting for. You got this.

Blog image by Photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA