Are you about to be 30 and single? How about 40 and single?

Are you a college grad with no job living at your parents? Are you “supposed” to be married with kids by your standards and the standards of your loved ones, but aren’t? Are you not making the money that you thought you would be by this age? Are you without the solid group of friends that you think you should have by this point of life? Do you not have the home yet? Are you not established yet and think you should be? Are you feeling not so great about where you’re at in life?

(Aren’t you stressed reading all that? I AM! *For the record, none of these situations listed above are negative or bad in any way shape or form. They’re not an issue unless we’re making it an issue for us.)

Basically, what I’m asking you is:

Do YOU think you “should” be somewhere different other than where you are?

If you think that something is wrong with where you’re at in life, please hear me out.

I don’t know what your unique circumstances are, but I’m here to help you have more piece around this very moment in your life so you can move forward and find a more satisfying place to sit. Here are some quick tips to remind yourself of on this very day if you’re stressing about not being where you think you should be.

Life Doesn’t Go As Planned (Especially If You’re Really LIVING it)

Chances are that “Thinking” you’re not where you should be is more of what’s keeping you stuck than what is actually happening.

What’s “Right” for someone else in terms of life timing isn’t necessarily “right” for you. Stop comparing your life’s path to another. People are multifaceted and we are all so different, so it’s extremely unnatural for everyone to be hitting the same markers at the same point of their lives.

Appreciate something good about where you’re at. (Even if you want to be somewhere different) That simple act and acknowledgement will help you feel a little bit different about your circumstances.

Remember that life is always changing (even when it feels like it never will) and your circumstances will be changing for some reason at some point no matter what. That’s just the reality of life. Nothing is permanent. Take in the present.

If you start focusing on what things are going “right” for you; More things will start going right.

Take the pressure off yourself that either you’re putting on yourself or that others are putting on you. Do you. Find your own happiness. It’s for nobody to project onto you.

At the end of the day, it’s not about what you have to show. It’s about how you FEEL about your life and how people FEEL about you. No certificate or amount of money will amount to how you’ve made others feel and the impact you’ve made while you were here.

Find your joy. Find what makes you happy. Stop comparing and judging yourself for what you perceive you “don’t” have. I hear you, there’s things that you do desire and wants that you want. That’s awesome. That’s not the problem. I want you to want what you want. The problem is the stress, pressure and story that you’re putting on yourself about not being where you think you should be. If you just take the pressure off of yourself, my guess is that those things can show up with more ease. Give it a try. Cheers!

Blog | Licensed Therapist | Self Discovery | North County San Diego, CA