Are you stressed out about not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life?

Are you struggling to know what the next step is?

Am I speaking to you? If so, please read.

First off, let’s get real: How could you expect yourself to know the answers to these questions if you haven’t been exposed to the answers yet?

Maybe the key is to realize that it’s more a matter of being patient and allowing your life to unfold a bit or (a lot) before you can have clarity around these HUGE questions that, I know, life is asking you to answer right now.

I get it, I was being asked those questions too when I was younger and it was really intense and hard to feel the pressure of those questions looming over my head on the daily. I was so confused why I was being asked to know such monumental things about myself and my life when I was so young.

In one breath, I was supposed to be “young & free.” In the next, I was asked to be uber “Responsible & Know it All.”

Which one is it? “Free & Fabulous” or “Fixed & Figured Out.” Universe: Pick a Lane Please.

For all of you out there who are feeling the pressure and anxiety of being young, fabulous and in search of who you are, this one’s for you.

Legally speaking, overnight on the Eve of your 17th birthday, magically you become (wait for it) “An Adult.” Suddenly, you have this new self identity that comes with higher expectations and responsibilities from the world and those around you.

It can be a lot. It can be incredibly overwhelming. Why does nobody talk about this?

You have way more severe legal consequences and, technically, you have total self independence (says the definition of adulthood, yet i understand that it might not be the case if you’re still living under your parents roof.) This all can be really amazing and really scary too. Just so you know: Any desire to run back into your 12 year old self and hide is more normal than you know.

There are major transitions going on during high school and into college. So so many; Such as potentially moving out of your family’s home and going to college or pursuing a job, new city or new you. The transition of ditching a structured institution like academia, that you’ve been in your whole life, can be extremely jarring. How do you figure out structure on your own? What do you do with your time? How do you meet new friends? Help!

In your young adulthood you’ll be figuring out what your independence looks like from your parents, family and friends. You’ll be diving into who you are and what you want. (Now that everyone is telling you that it’s “up to you now” (even though a couple years ago you were being told what to do, having to ask permission to go out and being told your a minor. It’s a bit of a drastic transition if you ask me.)

Lets get into some key tips for you to potentially carry with you throughout your young adulthood. My hope is for these perspectives to help you along the way so you could actually enjoy and have a clear mind through a time period in your life that is (as cliche as is sounds) defining. I don’t say this for you to feel pressure. I say defining for you to really soak in the reality that, at this point, your life is officially up to you. It’s your responsibility and it’s your creation. When you really understand this concept and own it, you will be able to make more clear decisions based on who you are and what you truly want. It’s a gift to understand that you are in the drivers seat of your life. Even if that feels really uncomfortable to hear, which is normal, getting more familiar with this reality will help you to accept it eventually.

10 LIFE TIPS FOR ANY YOUNG ADULT

1. Please don’t stress about not knowing what you “should” do with your life. It’s more than okay and beyond normal if you don’t have it all figured out or figured out at all. It’s more than okay; it’s actually exactly where you should and ought to be when you’re young and exploring the world, all of it’s options and people, places and things. Please stop stressing about trying to “figure out your life.” Answers will come as you take organic, inspired action. Answers will come when you are doing things that align with who you are and that bring you joy.

2. It’s okay if what you want to do with your life is different than what your parents want you to do with your life. Period. Let me say that again; What you may want and what your parents or family may want for you could be really different. If this is your reality please know that nothing is wrong with you for having a different opinion and perspective for your life. What it sounds like is going on is that your heart is tugging you somewhere different than others ideals for you. As long as where your heart is tugging is true and healthy for you, please try to stay true to it. Follow your hearts lead. Let it guide you. It will take you places that others dreams and opinions for your life will not lead you too……and that would be a shame for you to miss.

3. Please learn to have boundaries. Pay attention to your boundaries and when people cross them. Get ninja good at establishing and holding strong boundaries. It will be something that can really change your future for the better. (Read more about how to establish and hold your boundaries HERE.)

4. Nobody outside of you has your answers. I know it seems like they may at times, but nobody knows answers that are yours to figure out. You can get information, advice and suggestions from others, but do not get into the habit of following the lead of what other people think that you should do with your life. Always consider the source when you’re getting feedback about your world. Is that person where you want to be? Listen to people who have proof via what their life looks like when you’re considering how much weight and influence you’re going to give their feedback.

5. Love will come into your life and stay when it’s supposed to. If all your friends are in a relationships; don’t worry about it. This means nothing personal about you. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of love. It just means that your friends are in relationships and you are not. That’s it. Don’t complicate it. We all find and lose love at different times of our lives. It’s not likely that everyone is your social circle will find life long love in a wolf like pack kinda way (all at the same time.) If that’s what’s happening in your personal world, please consider that some people might be getting blinded by wanting to be where others are or putting too much emphasis on meeting their personal timeline versus really considering who they are partnering with. True Love is not linear. True Love cannot be forced and curated. It doesn’t work like that. Wait for it and be patient. It will eventually come if you keep your mind clear and your heart open.

6. Like people for the “right” reasons. Invite people into your life that are well intended and true. Pay attention to who is kind hearted, thoughtful and consistent. It’s so easy to get caught up into whose hot or doing something cool, but do yourself a favor and put the most importance on qualities that will stand the test of time.

7. Practice getting more comfortable with change. Even though it doesn’t feel like it will, things will change. People you are so close to now may or may not be big players in your life in the years to come. I don’t say this as a sad reality; I say this for the heads up that feelings change, people change and relationships change. When friends start going in different directions; put energy into your relationships that are reciprocal and that make you feel yourself, inspire you and make you better. Make effort for people who make effort for you. Trust the process of people ebbing in and out of your life in a natural and healthy way. It will serve you to not force false feelings.

8. Please don’t waste your time on anyone who makes you feel small and insignificant. Please don’t. You have no time for this and it’s important to set the standard now for what you will not accept and deal with, not only present day, but for years to come. Repeat after me: I am worthy of people who value and respect me. Let me now say it again for you: You are worthy and deserving of people who value you, respect you and support you. The second that you start compromising your sense of self by allowing others to walk over you and disrespect you, is when your life will start going down hill fast.

9. Learn to trust yourself & love yourself. Self trust and self love are big ones. Put time into developing your relationship with yourself. The level is which you learn to trust and love yourself will dictate the quality of your life and of your relationships. Huge, right? Whole heartedly trust yourself. HOW? You trust yourself by taking actions that help you prove your capability and strength. In short: When you believe you can; you can. Whole heartedly love yourself. HOW? You love yourself by treating yourself in the most respectful way that you know how. If you were not taught how to do this; Please learn immediately. You love yourself by speaking kindly to yourself, by taking good physical care for yourself and by inviting people into your life to stay that mirror respectful and supportive energy and actions. Don’t allow your grades, your degrees, the number of followers you have on instagram effect the love and respect that you hold for yourself.

10. Do not get in the trap of trying too hard. Stop trying too hard to figure it all out. Trying to hard to find a partner. Trying to hard to get the partner to like you. Trying to hard to make a million by 25; Just stop. I’m not saying stop trying to achieve your healthy goals and dreams. I am saying to stop rushing and putting destructive pressure on yourself to meet timelines that go against your truth. The minute you stop trying so hard and take the pressure off is the minute that you will begin to have more clarity about important decisions in your life. With less pressure and more time and space for you to be with yourself, you will get more clear about what direction or actions to take that will, eventually, lead you to what you want.

    I hope that this post provided some perspective and encouragement for you to have if you’re your young, figuring it out and looking for some direction in life. I remember wishing that there was some sort of path or magical book of life that would lay down the law on the specific actions that I should have taken when I was younger. I actually still feel that way and maybe that’s what I’m here to tell you: Life is never figured out. There’s never a point of arrival where you are “done” with figuring out your life. Life is a constant unfolding. The decision making will never stop. Your job, right now, is to get really good at making your own decisions because if you get good at it now, you’ll set a really good stage for your future. In turn, you’ll have a great skill under your belt as you evolve and grow to continue to create a life you really choose and want to be in.

    Cheers. Much love.

    *Above Image was taken by Photographer, Renata Amazonas.