ln the world of psychology talk of the “inner child” may sound intimidating or “a bit too “woo- woo” for some. Especially for those of us not familiar with this kind of language. If this is the case for you, bare with me. I’m going to break this subject down in a way where you can understand it and, perhaps, even use it to enhance your personal growth.

Below is a mini Q & A for you to gain more understanding on the topic of the inner child.

Here. We. Go……

Q: I hear the term “inner child” thrown around in the world of psychology/self help. What does that even mean?

The term “inner child” is referring to that part of you that can be holding onto past pains, hurts, traumas and emotional distress that’s affecting your ability to function and make healthy choices, whether it’s conscious or not, in your present life. 

It’s suggested that if you have a “wounded” past self within, this part of self will “act out” that pain within your adult life and relationships. When our inner child is holding onto past pain and without peace, we can find ourselves, in the present, making choices from that hurt place within . 

The thought behind inner child work is that once the “old wound” is addressed and healed, we will no longer have the unconscious pull for our pain from the past to show up in our present. Think of a physical wound and it’s healing process. If a deep cut was never taken care of it’s going to look physically different years later than if it was properly tended to and addressed at the time of injury. So is the same with our emotional pain. You can’t visibly see emotional pain, so it can go under the radar and be dismissed if we’re not attentive to it.

Q: Some people might be a little skeptical about the idea of an inner child. Can everyone get in touch with their inner child if they choose? 

Absolutely! Everyone whose open to exploring the relationship with their inner child can connect with this aspect of themselves. With that said, individuals that have skepticism around whether this part of them exists, would need to do some work on increasing their belief and unblocking the resistance around this concept in order to fully “go there.” Generally speaking, resistance is a common barrier that needs to be released in order to dive into an area of life or self that has blockage or disbelief.

Areas where we have blocks or resistance, usually, are the areas where there’s inner work to be done. It reminds me of the saying: “Go Toward Your Fear.”

The truth is, it often takes discomfort to grow.

When things are comfortable it presents no motivation for us to change or challenge our situation.

Q: What are some of the ways your inner child might show up in your life? (Both, Positive & Negative)

Situations that trigger intense emotions tend to awaken our inner child or “old wounds.” Look for areas of discomfort, helplessness, fear, anxiety, a lack of control and grief. Generally, keep your eye out for situations that bring up resistance and a high emotional response. Look for a response that doesn’t align with the emotional intensity of the event. For example, getting enraged about something that most would consider trivial; I’ll use the cliche: “Crying over spilled milk." 

For a healthy reference point, emotions usually tend to “match” the level of intensity of a situation. When there’s a misalignment, meaning that the reaction is way bigger than the event calls for, it’s important to take a look at that in order to identify what could be coming up for you.

Q: What beginning strategies might you recommend to someone hoping to do some inner child healing? 

Healing this part of self can be ignited with activities that connect and engage you toward your inner child. 

What does that look like? For example, it can be really helpful to spend some time looking at pictures of yourself from childhood. 

Why? By doing so, we can tap back into the emotional space of the time where that image was taken. It’s the same with scents, places we have nostalgia for, songs, sentimental/significant people. Have you ever smelt something and it literally transported you emotionally back to a place? (Yes, right?! This is what I’m talking about.) 

Visualizations are great too. Visualizations allow you to tap into a mental place where you can visit your inner child as the adult you are now. As adults, we have tools and perspectives that we didn’t have as kids. As we bring our maturity and healthy perspectives to our younger self in this safe mental space, we can potentially “reframe” the event where there was pain and even trauma. 

Tending to old wounds that were never fully healed is the pathway to a more balanced and healthy self. 

(Advisory: Some individuals might have severe trauma around their past, and in those cases, it’s important to seek the guidance of a well trained professional. Doing so will help you have support and introduce you to coping strategies as you face difficult past emotions where professional support may be essential.)

Q: Any guidance on finding the right type of therapist to explore inner child work with? 

All licensed therapists are trained to support this type of work. However, some therapists can have more experience and training with inner child work than others. I recommend asking questions to any potential therapist as to what their experience is with this topic when looking for a therapist to support your growth and healing. Also, therapists that are trained to do EMDR is great for trauma healing.

Reflecting on your past self in order to release emotions that can be weighing you down, is a process that can provide you with healing that can leave you feeling lighter and more at peace. Growth requires you to try on different ways of doing things. Acknowledging and checking in with your inner child can provide you with insight that can support your healing. If you’re called to doing this work, give it a go.

I collaborated with Healthline on this topic as well. Check out that post here. Find another great resource to help point you toward inner child work here.

* Blog Image by Amy Lynn Bjornson, Lifestyle & Wedding Photographer.